Author and teacher Frances Stickley explores the many benefits of reading books about feelings with children.
Image: Emily Hamilton
Frances Stickley is a bestselling children’s author, primary school teacher and literacy specialist with a background in teaching children permanently excluded from mainstream education
In classrooms, there is often a strong emphasis on books that promote kindness, positivity and good – conformist? - behaviour, not least because there is historically a moral-didactic tradition in children’s literature where stories operated as a tool for social control.
Whilst times are changing, and these texts have an important role to play, they can inadvertently suggest that only certain emotions are acceptable to express with gusto.
Books that explore sadness, anger, fear, jealousy or loss are, of course, just as essential, arguably more.
For teachers, sharing these stories is not about amplifying difficulty (there can sometimes be a reluctance to sow seeds of misbehaviour, commonly seen to be in cahoots with high-volume feelings) but about acknowledging the emotional reality of childhood and providing children with safe, supported ways to make it make sense.
One of the key benefits of sharing books about difficult feelings is the emotional distance they create. When conflicting emotions are encountered through a character, kids are able to engage without feeling personally exposed.
Children are excellent at theory of mind – generally better than adults. They enter into pretence without shame or humiliation and their capacity to compartmentalise is limited – everything flows into everything in the purest creative way – meaning that stories and characters fill every available emotional space in their brains.
So fictional framing acts as a safety net for them, allowing kids to step towards complex emotions while protecting their sense of self. For teachers, this offers a non-confrontational way to explore feelings that might otherwise be hard to address directly, particularly within a whole-class setting.
Picture books are especially powerful in this regard. Not all children arrive in school with the same capacity to visualise or articulate their internal world. Some see in shapes; others are watching a play-by-play of their favourite film.
Research comparing people who can vividly imagine things with those who can’t (called aphantasia) shows that imagery can act like an emotional amplifier. People with vivid imagery tend to experience stronger emotional engagement with stories and narrative experiences than those who lack imagery.
Illustrations in picture books, and indeed any books, give shape and colour to emotions, helping children externalise feelings that may feel confusing or overwhelming. Visualisation activates the same neural pathways as real-life experience, supporting emotional regulation and helping children process feelings more calmly.
When paired with emotionally literate writing, picture books become an effective scaffold for emotional understanding.
Sharing books that focus on sadness or other so-called negative feelings also plays a crucial role in normalising emotional struggle.
When children regularly encounter characters who feel angry, frightened, or deeply unhappy, they learn that these emotions are not signs of failure, but part of being human.
This diminishes shame and supports the development of emotional literacy. For teachers, this can shift the classroom culture away from fixing or silencing emotions, and towards understanding and connection.
Perhaps just as important is that these books should ideally be read aloud. Read an emotionally controversial story to any group of children and you’ll spot them scanning the room – and your face – for reactions, giving us the perfect opportunity to normalise and make comfortable those otherwise quite sparky, sometimes a bit frightening, feelings.
The act of shared reading itself is significant. Reading together creates a moment of collective calm, where attention is focused and emotional experiences are quietly held in common.
The rhythm of language, repetition and narrative structure can have a soporific, regulating effect on the nervous system, particularly for children who are overwhelmed or dysregulated. Within this shared space, children are able to reflect on emotions without pressure to disclose personal experiences, which is often where the deepest learning occurs.
Books about feelings also offer valuable opportunities for developing empathy. Through story, children are invited to inhabit perspectives beyond their own, encouraging cognitive reframing and deeper understanding.
Over time, this repeated exposure helps pupils recognise that everyone carries an inner emotional world, even when it is not immediately visible. This has clear implications for behaviour, relationships, and peer support within the classroom.
As mentioned above, how teachers respond to these texts matters as much as the texts themselves. Open-ended discussion, careful noticing, and non-judgemental language model healthy emotional responses.
Simple phrases such as, “That looks really hard” or, “I wonder what might help them here” validate feelings without escalating them. This approach reinforces the idea that emotions are not problems to be solved, but experiences to be understood.
For teachers, sharing books about difficult feelings is a professional and pedagogical choice. It signals to children that all emotions are welcome, that struggle is not something to hide, and that the classroom is a place where emotional lives are acknowledged as well as academic ones.
In doing so, books become powerful tools for emotional regulation, empathy and long-term resilience.
Frances Stickley’s new book, The Storm Cloud, illustrated by Emily Hamilton, is out now.
Our Writer in Residence Tom Percival explores how books can help children to explore emotions, find comfort, and learn about other experiences.
While books have the power to transport us to far-off lands and wild adventures, they also help us to look inward; to explore feelings and emotions in a safe, non-pressurised way. Reading about characters’ experiences helps children reflect on their own feelings, develop empathy, feel represented, and be reminded that they are not alone in feeling the way that they do.