How stories can model ways to resolve conflicts

Before I became a children’s author, I trained as an internal workplace mediator during my career in HR. Mediation is a way to mend relationships after a disagreement and for the parties involved to come up with shared solutions for the way forward. 

Through my work, I have seen that it is possible for people in conflict to find a way through mediation to work together constructively, even if they don’t necessarily become friends. 

When I was writing Running My Own Race, I wanted to highlight that children have the capacity to learn and develop and bullies can change their behaviour. It struck me that mediation might be a way to do that, even for children, and this led me to the restorative justice idea I used in the novel. 

Restorative justice is known in the criminal justice system for allowing the victim and offender to communicate in a controlled space where they speak about the harm that has been done and explore ways to repair that harm. 

Adopting a restorative approach to resolving conflict in schools will have the same focus – repairing harm as opposed to just punishment. It will encourage a change in behaviour by getting the child to focus on their action, to understand the impact of it on others, and to take responsibility for their behaviour. 

It also gives the child who has been harmed a chance to speak their truth in a controlled environment. The restorative approach encourages the development of empathy and understanding. 

Conflict and disagreement will inevitably be present in every child’s life and it’s important that they learn from an early age how to work through such situations in a healthy and constructive way. 

Demonstrating a positive approach to conflict resolution in books for children can provide them with concrete examples of how these skills might be used in their own lives. My hope with Running My Own Race is that by seeing Miles face up to what he has done and Kofi speak his truth to him using the principles of restorative justice, young readers will see the benefits of healthy conflict resolution and will try it out in real life. 

Alongside my book, here are some examples of other books for children that will not only entertain readers, but also model healthy conflict resolution.

A brilliant and realistic depiction of conflict between siblings, where one of them blames the other for a life-changing injury. 

Told in a dual-narrative format between the two sisters, they spend the entire book in conflict until a pivotal event has them speak their truths to each other and approach their conflict from a place of empathy. An inspiring book about forgiveness. 

A humorous picture book, but instructive nonetheless! A great depiction of how conflict and disagreement can be resolved through communication, being open to someone else’s perspective, and being understanding of the needs of others. 

This illustrated non-fiction book for children explains how to disagree with someone but still be respectful and empathetic. It’s written in an engaging and humorous style which makes it a light read, but impactful. 

This heartwarming picture book, recommended by the European Forum for Restorative Justice, is a story about Wally, who has a reputation for being a bully. 

He does something which causes a lot of upset and Freya helps him to understand the impact of his actions on others. They find a positive way to make things right from then on. The book shows the importance of empathy and a restorative approach in resolving conflicts. 

This graphic novel explains to children the restorative approach to resolving conflict and shows how it can be applied in school. 

After a misunderstanding between Jake and Ryan leads to a fight at school, both children are left feeling angry and worried about what will happen when they next see each other. Their teacher arranges a meeting to allow the boys to talk and understand each other’s point of view. This turns their feelings of anger and worry into positive ones. The illustrations in the book help to make it an easy read. 

A powerful and uplifting story about 10-year-old August Pullman, who is born with syndromes that result in him having severe facial deformities. At 10 years old, after being previously home-schooled, he starts school and has to deal with the challenge of other people’s reactions to him. 

When he overhears Jack, who he thought was his friend, say mean things about him, he feels betrayed. He stops being friends with Jack. Their friendship only starts to mend when Jack apologises to August, takes ownership of what he has done and answering August’s questions honestly. An inspiring story that has been turned into a film. 

Running My Own Race by Abena Eyeson is out now.