An Alternative Bookish Christmas Meal

Author Sibéal Pounder suggests some favourite festive figures to share a meal with. 

In Sprouts, my new book, Christmas is everything, it is everywhere and it is EVERY DAY. Everyone travels by flying sleigh, all food is served as flavoured candy-canes and children have their own holographic elf to grant their every toy request. But the world is not so jolly, it’s ruled by an overbearing Santa and his army of Krampus beasts. I’d no doubt be taken to the Krampus lair for what I am about to suggest, which is an alternative, bookish festive meal, collecting some of my favourite (mostly sweet) treats from books I love. I’ve paired the courses with festive figures from real-life traditions that inspired the characters in Sprouts.  

Christmas Eve Treat with Befana 

Nevermoor by Jessica Townsend 

Befana is the Italian Christmas Witch, who much like Santa, delivers presents to good children. She is generous and kind, dropping sweets and gifts from her broom as she flies by. No Christmas food traditions are complete without a Christmas Eve treat and I think such a kindly witch would enjoy the concept of an early feast. In my house, it’s a mince pie picnic (anyone who has read my first festive book Tinsel will know what this involves!) and a glass of eggnog. But, if I could make the impossible happen, I’d make my Christmas Eve treat a trip to Nevermoor’s Parlour, where delicious smelling smoke rolls off the walls. At Christmas time there are special seasonal flavours and I can’t think of a better person to visit the parlour with than a mysterious Christmas witch. 

Stocking Filler with the Snowmen 

The House with Chicken Legs by Sophie Anderson 

The Snowmen in Sprouts are palace guards who wear suits made of snow. They are chosen at birth based on which baby’s cry sounds the most like, ‘ho ho ho.’ Since they are up early to guard the palace, and given they are always quite cold in their frozen suits, I think they would enjoy a little box of warm beghrir from The House with Chicken Legs by Sophie Anderson. It’s a spongy pancake soaked in honey and exactly what I’d like to munch on while opening my stocking presents. 

Starter with Caga Tio 

Charlie and the Christmas Factory short story collection by Roald Dahl and various   

Caga Tio, the Catalonian pooping log, is my favourite tradition, and even though he doesn’t appear in Sprouts, I’m including him here (I’m determined to fit him into a book one day). He’s a jolly log, with a face painted on and a blanket covering his back. Children lightly hit him with sticks and sing songs, and if they are good, he poops out presents and sweets. It’s the kind of wonderfully weird confectionary-related fun that would pair perfectly with my dream Christmas meal starter: a swim in the Chocolate River from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There is a new compilation of tales out this year from authors such as Elle McNicoll, Pamela Butchart and Chris Smith, inspired by Dahl’s characters. I wrote a short story called Charlie and the Christmas Factory, in which the chocolate river is given a festive flavour when Santa ends up in it. I can’t think of anything better than sitting on the banks of that factory river dipping my mug in some gloopy Wonka chocolate accompanied by a log that poops sweets. 

Main Course with Gryla 

Bear and Bird by Jarvis 

Gryla is a Scandinavian hag who likes to come down from the mountains and find naughty children to cook in her stews. She’s often accompanied by her cat – a gigantic beast called the Yule Cat. I think I’d like to take them to Badger’s café, from Jarvis’s Bear and Bird, for the main course. The café menu includes some wonderful crumble, and I’m sure Badger, along with Bear and Bird, would be willing to whip up a stew for Gryla to make her feel at home. Plus, the Yule Cat would enjoy meeting some fellow animal friends, who happen to be the most charming new creatures in children’s publishing.  

Dessert with a Krampus 

Sprouts by Sibéal Pounder 

The Christmas Krampus is a devilish figure who visits naughty children on Christmas eve. He’s all hooves and horns and in some European countries they have incredible Krampus parades, when people dress up in terrifying costumes and parade the streets in celebration of this festive menace. Given it is the Krampuses who enforce the festive rules in Sprouts, I would choose to eat some disgusting sprout-flavoured candy-canes with a Krampus for my festive dessert (because if I didn’t, I’d be in trouble).