When I See Blue

About this book

12 year old Ben is being bullied.  Not by other children.  At least not yet – he’s only just transferred from his old school, following a difficult Year 7.  And (despite arriving with a Dr Who ‘tardis’ backpack) so far, he’s managing to keep a low profile.  But Ben is bullied by a voice in his own head.

Invisible OCD rules dictate his every action, trying to prevent him from living life like neurotypical people do.  Whether it’s avoiding certain colours or doing things repetitively and in multiples of four, it is exhausting trying to abide by a secret rule book – not to mention trying to hide it from others. But if Ben doesn’t listen to his brain-bully, surely something dreadful will happen?

Any young reader will relate to the anxiety of fitting in and encountering different forms of bullying.  In Ben’s case, his challenges are further exacerbated by a combination of an alcoholic mother and a partly-absent father.  Thankfully, we also see hope – first in the form of a girl in his class who befriends him. With her encouragement, a new therapist, the support of a quirky teacher and the haven of a school art club, Ben can begin to find the strength he needs to start taking back control. We see him slowly learn that his compulsions don’t actually impact on the events that go on around him, good or bad.

This is a touching and honest book about life in the grip of OCD but also the power of friendship. It’s also a reminder that good friendships are two-way as it turns out April needs Ben just as much as he needs her. 

A convincing (own-voice) story, with a light touch and plenty of Dr Who references.