Withering Tights

When Tallulah’s parents pack her off to an am-dram college - Dother Hall, she hopes she will become a toppity-top actress type without accidentally tripping over her knees or involuntarily doing Irish dancing.

But Yorkshire isn’t quite what she expected. There isn’t even a high street. Just the Blubberhouse Sewage Works ten miles away, five thousand sheep and the village shop that only sells pies and sellotape. And where are all the brooding northern dream-boys?

Cooped up, imprisoned by the forces of nature and no boys for miles… just how the Brontë sisters felt. This is just as well because the summer show is Wuthering Heights. Will Tallulah simultaneously find lurve on the moors and become an actress extraordinaire?

If you want to show the world that you’re an insane loon, then read this on the bus. You will explode with laughter every five seconds. Infectiously mad and hilariously dramatic, Withering Tights is completely unputdownable.